This Just In--Of UNC and its Search for Academic Excellence

[BoiseBYU]

UNC, what with the criticism leveled its way for its academic fraud, to change course criteria. From now on students will not get an A for answering correctly who is buried in Grant's Tomb. Indeed, the "Carolina Way" will now require student athletes to follow up with a short essay on words that rhyme with Tomb.

Brian Williams no doubt devastated by these developments--he thought he'd spend his time off from being a brave, danger-defying journalist and score a UNC doctorate.

Back to UNC who knew that it stands for University Not Care

In more reform, UNC coaches to be required to take hearing and vision tests to ensure they are not, in fact, as the facts suggest, deaf, mute, and blind to what was going on around them.