I agree with Nebraska.
I have managed as many as 500+ people at one point in time and thousands over my career. I do not hire and fire employees anymore. But, I get asked for references even now. People who ask me to refer people to them know me and rely on me to be consistent about who I would send their way. You could think of that as my brand. My reputation. I would lose my ability to help others - if I ever referred someone that did not meet expectations - including the intangibles of dress and grooming.
It is a rare executive that will take you aside and tell you that your name came up on a list of candidates for promotion but was passed over as "not being a good fit" for an intangible reason. The people in that discussion not giving the thumbs up usually do not even articulate a specific reason in the discussion. Nobody likes lawsuits.
Sometimes it is probably outright discriminatory - but they are not foolish enough to articulate their discrimination. But grooming is not discriminatory in public facing positions or even in highly visible management roles.
I have taken the risk of counseling employees on these intangible matters in cases where I felt the employee would appreciate knowing what I saw holding them back. I never gave that feedback to employees that seemed likely to turn it into the great debate about how unfair the world is.
The world is what it is. Reality.
A 21 year old kid answered my ad for free firewood a month ago. Nice kid. He looked like he had crawled right out of the sixties. His father left his mother because he felt he was a woman trapped in a man's body. Now his dad is Aunt Jean.
He mentioned that he needed a job. I hired him to help me pick up a house full of furniture from Restoration Hardware. He worked hard. Got to know him. Told me how he sends resumes, gets interviews, but never gets hired. He is was attracted to the concept of Restoration Hardware. Wanted to work in their warehouse. They were hiring. They had seen him help me with over 100 pieces of furniture. I told them what a good worker he was. He filled out an application. I knew he would not get hired. Dress. Grooming. I explained to him that he is at the cross roads. Needs to decide whether his individualism is important enough to him for him to continue to live at home, making $100 a month doing side jobs. I told him I will have work at times in my orchard and that I did not care how long his hair was or how he dressed. Every couple of months, I might need him for a day.
He chose his individualism once again. I took him to drop off his application. I reminded him to reflect on what every person he had seen working at that store looked like and conform to the extent he was willing. He did not change a thing. Did not get hired.
Same age as a BYU student. Did not want to hear the message. He listened politely. But chose to be who he feels he is. A nice kid. Non conforming. Under employed. Way under.
Ironically, I asked a small company that picks fruit that had mentioned how hard it is to find workers in this culture of handouts and entitlements if he would give this kid a try - minimum wage - picking fruit. He thought for a minute and then declined. Discrimination imho. But, the stereotype in play in agriculture is that white guys will not do hard work.
Of course, he never came right out and said that.
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